If you know me, and if you’ve been lucky enough to be my facebook friend you’ve come to know and love…and maybe even hate my Pro-Tips. I give them on everything, often times just making funny social commentary, but always giving you an important life lesson in the process. I will now be bringing my Pro-Tips to the Promose7en family for all of you to enjoy. Here are a couple of my favorites that I had given in light of the new year earlier this year. Enjoy:
Gym Goer Protip #1: Rack your fucking weights. Your workout isn’t done until you do and you’re pissing off employees and patrons alike. No one is impressed by your 400 lbs deadlift so just put all your damn plates back on the rack where they came from. Think of it as a good active rest period.
Gym Goer Protip #2: Lift less. That’s right. The four 45 lbs plates you just put on the bar are too much for you to handle. I can tell because your back is rounder than the St. Louis Arch, your knees are buckling, and I can see the Hemorrhoids forming through your pants. Back it down a bit. You look a lot cooler using proper form than you do moving a ton of weight. Less weight better reps.
Gym Goer Protip #3: Guess what. If you’re doing it right you’ll notice improvements within a month. But then all of a sudden everything is going to crash to a halt, and you’re going get demotivated and say “This isn’t working” Yes it is. You’ve hit what is called a plateau. Our bodies need to be surprised, kinda like that cute chick you’re trying to get yourself a 6 pack for. Change your program up, and keep on truckin!
Gym Goer Protip #4: Put down that Diet Soda. Diet or not It’s still a 12 ounce can (Or in Paulie’s case a 2 liter bottle) full of chemicals your body can’t even process. Try this. Replace all beverages with water. Green tee or coffee in the morning is great, and if you’re gonna sweeten it use raw sugar or agave nectar. Have a glass of milk with dinner. No juice, no pop diet lite or otherwise. Try that and watch your diet work. A gallon of water a day will do more for fat loss than any other thing you can do.
Gym Goer Protip #5: Another one about diet since that’s 85% of the battle. If your food can’t go bad, it’s bad for you. Try this next time you shop. Don’t step foot in the aisles for any food items. All your food items must be purchased from the outer edges of the store. Fresh meat, fish, cheese, produce, eggs, etc. If it’s in a factory sealed package, don’t eat it. Now if only it was that simple to select a woman.
Gym Goer Protip #6: There are 5 exercises you need to learn, and start doing. Be it with 40 lbs or 400lbs, these are key. Deadlifts, Cleans, Squats, Pullups, Standing Military Presses. What’s that you got a bad knee and can’t squat? Bullshit. I’m missing a thumb sized piece of my femoral condyle and joined the 1000 lbs club less than a year after full reconstruction. DO IT RIGHT and stop making excuses. Side tip *Proper squats are good for bad knees*
Gym Goer Protip #7: Here is another basic diet guideline. Break food into groups. Energy (carbs, sugars, starches, etc.) or repair and rebuilding (proteins and fats – good fats) When do you need energy? Earlier in your day, before and during activity. You don’t need energy to sleep. Need a midnight snack? Try cottage cheese. It’s loaded with casein protein which is great for recovery.
Gym Goer Protip #8: CHEAT. Diet diet diet, bla bla bla. Here’s the rule…and here is why you’ll catch me chasing french fries with a gravy boat on occasion. DO IT RIGHT 90% OF THE TIME. You cut calories all week, worked out hard, and didn’t have a single indulgence…now it’s Sunday and the game is on. Have that pizza, crack an Amstel and don’t even think about feeling guilty about it.
Gym Goer Protip #9: Working out does not mean you automatically need to start taking protein shakes. Especially if your goals involve losing weight. You should be able to eat more than enough protein in a day. And if someone is recommending a protein and and start off with “it tastes reeeeeeally good” it’s probably not a protein you want to take.
Gym Goer Protip #10: Flexing in the mirror does not build muscle. Lifting properly using the mirror to check your form does. If you spend more time in between sets having pose downs with yourself like you are Hulk Hogan himself than you do actually doing your sets, then you are doing it WRONG. Shorten your rest periods, save the posedowns for your mom’s bathroom mirror for your next facebook mobile upload, and DO WORK.
Lift Big, get Strong, Be a warrior.